I was so excited when I found out I was pregnant with my 1st born and on my 20 week scan I was told it was going to be a little boy 💙 and everything was perfect.
After 4 days of excitement and spreading the news I was having a little boy then I did not know what the next few weeks held for me.
At 20 weeks and 4 days I began bleeding, I went to hospital and had a scan to discover that I had a haematoma which was attached to the placenta and I needed to rest and go back for extra scans.
After many trips back and to the hospital, on the 16/9/2010 I was admitted after having stomach pains. I had a scan that day to discover the haematoma had grown to the size of a rugby ball which was irritating my womb.
On 18/9/2010 evening I was in horrendous pain and passing very large clots, I was given pethadine to control my pain fearing what was happening to me and my baby.
After 19 hours of excruciating pain I give birth to my beautiful little boy, he was just 23 weeks and 6 days old. He was taken straight to a special care baby unit where I could visit him.
When I went to visit him he was just perfect, he was on a ventilator and stable so I sat besides his incubator holding his tiny little hand praying.
I went back to the ward to get some rest as I was exhausted and only after a few hours I was called to come straight to the special care baby unit fearing what was happening. I was then told my beautiful boy has took a turn for the worst and will not survive.
He was then taken off the ventilator and placed in my arms where he took his last breaths.
I got to spend almost a week with my son which are very precious memories I will always have and I have a beautiful memory box made by the hospital which is very comforting to me.
This was the hardest thing I have ever been through in my entire life and not a day goes by where I don’t think of my beautiful boy.
8 years on I had 3 miscarriages but was then so lucky to have my other 2 beautiful son’s now age 4 and 6 and they know all about their big brother and always will do xx