It was 7th August 2003 when my daughter was stillborn. I was 17 years old and went into labour at work.  I called my midwife who told me to come right away. At the hospital, they put on a heart monitor (and couldn't find a heart rate but I was unaware of this) and then gave me a scan.  It was then they broke the news to me and took me to a private room to call my family and my then boyfriend.

I was in shock I think and what happened next was all a blur. My consultant came to see me and induced my labour. The midwife was also there but as my labour progressed, the staffing levels were so low, that when it came to the time of my baby arriving my sister had to quickly find a midwife while my mother almost delivered my daughter.  Luckily the midwife came in time but she was already half way out. The midwives took my daughter and dressed her, took photos and did hand and footprints for me to keep.

My boyfriend stayed with me throughout. We chose to call our daughter Amy Butler-Harris.  My sister chose Amy, as she said she looked like an Amy (which she did) and all my family were with me.  My boyfriend and I chose not to hold her but my parents did. I guess I was scared to hold her; she was so small she weighed 2lb 2oz.

Although short staffed, the midwives did a fantastic job in looking after me and my family.  They called the vicar to arrange a christening and advised us to have a post mortem. It was a very hard time for me but it was also hard for the staff.  They were sad and crying but so caring. They were amazing.

Amy was born with the cord around her neck.  The post mortem revealed that there was also a gash in the placenta and that going by her size, Amy had stopped growing at about 24 weeks. I felt angry for a while at the hospital for not picking up that she had stopped growing but I believe now everything happens for a reason. 

I am no longer with my then boyfriend. I have since met my husband and have had 2 more children at the same hospital.  The hospital had my first set of maternity notes and kept a close eye on me with my second and third pregnancies which were worrying times but both with happy outcomes.

I have a keepsake box containing Amy’s hand and foot prints, photos, poems and other things. I still look at them now. The pain of loosing a child never goes away, you just learn to live with it.

Kate Byrne, Amy’s mum