I lost my first-born Harrison at 36+6 (born 37+1) in 2011, he was stillborn and there were “no obvious” reasons for his death. This happened at a complicated time in my life and I went a further 4 years before deciding I was ready for another baby.



I had a new husband and life but the feelings and emotions were hard to deal with. I wanted a baby so much but I was scared. Would I get pregnant? How long will it take? Will I miscarry? Will I know if something is wrong again? Will my baby be born healthy?



I found out I was pregnant after the first month of trying for a baby, I was shocked and scared. We paid for a private early scan and found out we were 7 weeks pregnant.



The 9 months were a roller-coaster of happiness, fear, and worry. We had additional scans and appointments throughout the pregnancy but these brought both reassurance and worry as the weeks ticked by. Every week, every kick was a day closer to meeting our baby.



Our beautiful baby girl, arrived at 37 weeks via a planned induced labour. I’m not going to lie, it was long, tough and ended in theatre with an episiotomy and forceps delivery. As I laid on the bed, I held my breath until I heard the first cry and I followed it with tears of joy. I held her in my arms and I could not believe that she was mine, I had a daughter and she was alive and well. A very different picture to 6 years prior when I'd held Harrison in my arms.



The first few months were very hard and I did suffer from PND as I had told myself for 9 months not to “get your hopes up”, but here she was, in my arms, crying, needing me and I wasn’t ready – I didn’t know what to do, there was no manual and we were clueless.



We had little stumbling blocks along the way in the early days – a dairy allergy, a baby who didn’t sleep and one who teethed badly but we did it, we got through and we had many good times along the journey.



Our Daughter is now 2 years and 5 months as I write and I love being her mummy. She’s independent, funny and a really beautiful character. She will know about her little half-brother in the stars when she's old enough to understand. I'm a mum of two - one here with and one my heart and the stars.



From mum to mum – it will be hard, you will be worried and it may also be a roller-coaster, but if you’re ready, don’t be afraid to take the ride. I’m glad I did.