Stillbirth: “Since Jacob died my love for him has only grown” - Jessica’s Story
When Jessica couldn’t feel her baby’s movements she went to hospital and it was there at 31 weeks pregnant, she was told her baby boy Jacob had no heartbeat. Because of COVID her husband Jake wasn’t with her, but he was called in and told their baby had died. That first night Jessica couldn’t sleep and googled, “what happens when your baby dies inside you?” That’s when she learnt she was having a stillbirth.
Four and a half years after Jacob's death, she attends Sands meetings which give her a chance to validate feelings that can sometimes feel out of place in everyday life. At Sands meetings she doesn’t have to wear the mask that she often does in normal life. She can simply be Jacob's mum, speak about him freely, and know that everyone in the room understands. She also met with a Sands Befriender during her pregnancy after loss. Speaking to someone who truly understood the fear and anxiety of expecting another baby after stillbirth made her feel less alone. She is now training to be a Sands Befriender herself.
