I will never forget the moment we found out we were expecting our perfect little baby.

Back in April 2018 my husband and I celebrated our first wedding anniversary on a Mediterranean cruise. I believed I was getting sea sick but once home and still so sick we took a test and discovered our little stowaway! We were immediately in love with our little bean. At our first scan at 9 weeks our little bean looked like a little baby penguin! Then we watched at every scan our little penguin growing and growing into a beautiful baby boy!

Apart from sickness and normal tiredness we had a perfect pregnancy. We had extra scans and checks because my BMI was low but our baby was always happy and healthy. We named our little boy Elliot. On the 11th December 2018 we went for a check and Elliot was happy, healthy and kicking the doctors. The next day I was so tired so had a lazy day. I felt Elliot stretching but the next day I was worried so we went to the hospital. We were then told those most devastating heart breaking words that our little Elliot had gone. I will never forget that moment. My husband and I just held each other and cried. We just couldn't believe it, and just couldn't understand what had happened. We were 38 weeks, how could this be happening. I took the tablet and left and came back the next day to stay in the butterfly suite. We were heartbroken but knew we wanted to meet our precious little boy.

At 11.30pm Saturday night my waters broke and an hour and 15 minutes later at 12.44am our beautiful boy Elliot was born. Sadly we saw the cord tightly wrapped round him and wondered if this is what had happened. I held him immediately and stared at how perfect he was. He was then passed to his daddy for a cuddle. Then our families came rushing in and just for a moment we forgot what heart breaking situation we was in whilst everyone had a cuddle, took pictures and smiled at our perfect Elliot.

We spent 3 precious days with him. We wanted to make it a happy time so we smiled and created happy memories with our Elliot. We cuddled, held his prefect little hands, read stories to him and even took him for a walk in a pram.

 

Leaving the hospital without our little baby was the hardest most heart breaking thing we have ever had to do. Then we had to go home and face the nursery that was all set up ready. Just heartbreaking.

The nursery is still set up today, we have added some of Elliot's teddies that were given to him and us and of course lots of photos of our perfect Elliot. We have photos in every room.

Almost 11 weeks on its still so hard to believe that this happened to us. We have no reason as to why this happened. Elliot was a perfectly healthy baby. He was 6lbs 2ozs. He had so much hair! He had the most perfect little hand, perfect little feet and the most adorable perfect little face. He looks just like his daddy.

 

Elliot will always be in our hearts and he will always be our first born son. So precious.