In December 2017 I found out I was pregnant. A few days after my scan at 13 weeks, I received a phone call from one of the doctors at the hospital informing me that my baby was in the “high risk” category and I needed to make an appointment with the doctor to make a decision on what to do next. I felt physically sick and had 1000 things going through my head.

During the appointment the decision was made to have a Harmony test so that my baby wasn’t harmed at all. The results came back and I found out that I was having a girl and I was over the moon!

They also stated that she had Turners Syndrome which didn’t seem to bother me too much at the time. I had to have scans every 3/4 weeks to keep an eye on my daughter to make sure she was growing properly. The midwife always said that she was on the smaller side but she was very active and looked healthy. I couldn’t have been happier.

Then it all went wrong. At 28 weeks pregnant I had a scan to check on her. I was told to go and sit in another room while they got all of the information ready. The midwife explained that the blood flow through the umbilical cord wasn’t working properly anymore but they weren’t sure whether to let her be born now via c-section or keep her inside me for a bit longer. They gave me a steroid injection on that day and I had to have another the following day to help my daughter’s lungs if she were to be born.

On Friday 25th May I had another scan which was the scan which was going to decide whether she’d be born that weekend or not. They said she looked well and everything was a lot better so it was such a relief. They then sent me upstairs to get her heart monitored. Heartbeat sounded perfect and normal. Then they lost it and couldn’t find it. The nurse and my midwife I’d always seen took me into a darker room to try and find the heartbeat as there was loads of women in the other room. And then I got the dreaded words: “I’m sorry, there’s no heartbeat”.

That was it. My little girl was gone and there was nothing I could do. I was absolutely heartbroken. On Sunday 27th May at 14:55, I gave birth to Madison. She was so perfect in every way; perfect little feet, toenails, finger nails, lots of hair and the most amazing lips I’ve ever seen!

Everyday I think about Madison and I would do anything to have her with me now. Just trying to do my best to make her proud.



Sleep tight Madison,

Mummy loves you x