On Sunday 17th June 2012, after a few days of pains and at 32 weeks pregnant I called the hospital as I had some discharge I had noticed. They asked me to come into the hospital for checks.

We went to the labour and delivery suite, expecting to be on the ctg machine and sent away reassured that everything was fine. This wasn't the reality, we were taken into a room and they tried to find the heartbeat with the machine... Silence...

They tried the handheld doppler but again... Silence.

After what felt like an eternity, we heard the words which would change our lives forever. I can't find a heartbeat. They wheeled a scan machine in, it was heartbreaking. 

It was obvious, how many people needed to check. It was confirmed that our baby had died. I went home that evening and felt pains all through the night, I returned to hospital on the Monday morning, was given a pill to speed up labour. I gave birth to my tiny but perfect baby boy on the 18/06/2012 at 11.46pm, 32+2 weeks into my pregnancy.

My baby was gone, my pregnancy was gone. It was a loss like no other. We opted for post mortem. We had to arrange our babies funeral, something you never imagine you will have to do...

Painful and lost.

I had noticed that I had, had reduced movements and all the what ifs that go around your mind constantly. None of the what ifs could bring my baby back though.