Lohri is a festival that holds great significance in Northern India as it marks the end of the Winter solstice, the arrival of longer days and the harvesting of crops. Lohri is celebrated throughout the world, primarily by Sikhs and Hindus who have roots in Northern India. Family and friends come together and gather around a bonfire, sing traditional songs, and share festive foods, symbolising the harvest season and the triumph of light over darkness. 

Lohri is also known as a special day to celebrate the union of newlyweds or the birth of a baby. The festival becomes a joyous expression of gratitude and celebration for the new and cherished life-making Lohri, a memorable and meaningful celebration for the entire family. For bereaved parents who have experienced pregnancy or baby loss, Lohri can be a very difficult time.    

“Dylan entered the world in February 2021. His arrival was marked by a somewhat traumatic experience for both him and I. Dylan was distressed and after a number of internal examinations it was found that Dylan was born with a laceration on his head, which prompted an investigation by the hospital staff.  After a week-long stay we were desperate to get home to enjoy our new bundle of joy. 

Dylan had been so strong and brave throughout his first week of life that we found ourselves already envisioning and planning joyous celebrations ahead. We wanted to spoil him and show him our admiration and so we were both looking forward to Lohri as an occasion to commemorate his presence in the world and celebrate the resilience of our baby boy.

Unbeknown to us, Dylan’s journey of triumphs was yet to begin. He became sick on Mother’s Day of 2021, and a doctor’s appointment prompted us to take him to the hospital in the middle of the night where he spent two days under observation. After this we found out that our baby boy was seriously ill and had a matter of hours to live. We were rushed to Great Ormond Street Hospital at midnight where they performed a lifesaving procedure in the early hours of the morning. 

After 5 weeks of lows and highs, we brought our baby boy back home to begin his rehabilitation and for us to begin our lives as a family. Sadly, fate had other plans and we were back in the hospital before we knew it. 

Dylan suffered a cardiac arrest on a visit to the park after doctors advised us to get some fresh air. We left with our baby boy and returned with him lifeless in our arms. All our hopes and dreams shattered within minutes.

We never got to celebrate Lohri or Dylan’s first birthday. The day came and went as if there was no reason to celebrate. I wanted to acknowledge Dylan and that he existed. I wanted a reason to celebrate him because he lived. And although he was only here for a short period of time, I wanted to commemorate his heroic memory. 

I would urge anyone from the Punjabi community who has experienced pregnancy or baby loss to listen to your heart and do what is right for you. If you want to commemorate your child’s memory on this auspicious occasion, then please do. After all, our precious babies came into the world and their presence should be acknowledged.

In January 2023, we had the pleasure of celebrating Lohri with Dylan’s younger brother Mylan. We used the occasion to celebrate both of our boys and their entry into the world.” - Jas, Dylan’s mum 

Things you can do to remember your much-loved baby this Lohri:

• Light a candle or diya in memory of your baby symbolising their eternal light and presence in your heart.
• Invite loved ones for a gathering in which you can speak about your baby.  This communal remembrance can be comforting.
• Choose a meaningful tree or flower and plant it in memory of your baby. Watching it grow can serve as a beautiful tribute.

Here at Sands, we know how hard the first Lohri is for those who have experienced pregnancy or baby loss. Please know you are not alone, and there are people who understand and whom you can speak to in confidence. 

Sands Helpline

t: 0808 164 3332
e: helpline@sands.org.uk

w: sands.org.uk/support