In 1975 I gave birth to a baby boy who was stillborn. At the time, partners were not encouraged to be with you during labour. Maternity units acted on an ‘out of sight, out of mind' basis, with the stillborn baby being whisked away and out of the room before the mother could see him.

Partners were told to register the birth and grant permission to the hospital to bury the baby. There was no room on the death certificate for the baby’s first name. They were advised not to talk to the mother about the baby as that would upset her. Never mind the fact that fathers also had feelings. There was no support or guidance for professionals too.

It’s difficult to mourn your baby with no tangible memories, and people cross the road to avoid talking to you and there is no acknowledgement of the need to mourn. The thought of the next baby was offered as a sticking plaster to cure the pain of the loss.

I reached out through the press (no social media then) to try and gain support for educating professionals on the needs of bereaved parents. The response from bereaved parents was overwhelming and indicated a clear need for support.  From that I went on to found Sands.

I am stunned by how Sands has grown into the effective, influential organisation it is today. I had hopes 40 years ago that it  would be a viable organisation, but never dreamt it would be as powerful as it is.

Watch our interview with Hazelanne on YouTube

It must be so hard from people to imagine a time when there was no help for the mothers of stillborn babies: no realisation of the scale of the loss, no advice for fathers, no real sympathy for family members, no understanding of the effect grief can have for years. After all, how can such issues be addressed if they are never acknowledged, let alone spoken about?

That is how it was at the end of 1975, when my second son was stillborn at full term. Looking back I can remember a terrible silence – and the evasive looks of medical staff who seemingly could not bear to admit that this ‘thing’ had happened: an over-turning of the natural order of events.

As a journalist I was able to pour my grief into words – and tell the readers of the Guardian how it felt to bear a stillborn child. The rest is history.

Hazelanne Lewis got in touch and soon the Stillbirth Society was formed – and now we can all look back and give thanks that society is so much more enlightened.