We are so sorry that you find yourself here, but we are very glad you’ve found us. 

Losing a baby before, during or shortly after birth can be a devastating experience. The depth of emotions that follow can be overwhelming and debilitating for anybody that has had to face pregnancy or baby loss.

While baby loss affects people from all communities, the experience surrounding loss can differ from community to community. We know that South Asian communities are more likely to experience baby loss due to inequalities. We have also heard from South Asian parents about their specific experiences of maternity care in which their concerns and voices were not heard or listened to. 

Added to this, South Asian parents may have additional experiences that include language barriers, and cultural customs, rituals, and myths that can cause a further sense of loneliness, stigma and taboo. In many communities, open conversations about baby loss are avoided, and well-meaning yet dismissive phrases like, "You can try again", "It's God's will", or "at least it happened before you got to know your baby", are often used to downplay pain. Family and community may expect you to return to 'normal' within weeks or months and you may find yourself staying silent about your grief which can lead to a heightened feeling of isolation.

“While we were supported, we also had people say, ‘It is God’s will, you will have another’, ‘It is better it happened now than later in his life’, ‘at least he died before you got to know him’, the list is endless.” 

The words of a bereaved South Asian mother

The death of a baby is the hardest thing a parent will ever have to go through. It is not something that we expect to happen, nor is it the natural order of life. When loss happens, sometimes people do not know what to say which leaves a parent's pain unaddressed and their grief unspoken. Often, we hear from those that have said their partners have gone back to work or do not speak about their baby, whereas partners have shared with us that they feel immense grief which they cannot show nor share as they are told they need to be strong for their partner and both sides of their extended families. This was discussed in our Father's Day webinar with South Asian fathers speaking about their own baby loss journeys. 

At Sands, we understand the profound impact of baby loss and the unique challenges it brings. We are here to offer not just support, but a safe, confidential, compassionate and understanding space where you can share your feelings without fear or judgement. We are dedicated to breaking the silence around pregnancy and baby loss and ensuring that no parent must face this journey alone. Whether it's been days or years since your loss. 

While we do not offer individual peer support, we offer many alternative options of support including Sands Support Chat and language line through which we can ensure anybody who does not have English as a first language is supported. We also hold monthly online support meetings for individuals, couples and families from South Asian communities to connect with each other and share their loss. Parents who have attended these meetings have shared they felt better understood due to being able to share their cultural norms. 

We understand how difficult it can be to navigate pregnancy and baby loss and take that first step towards support. Whatever option you decide, we assure you that we are here to take the next steps with you, providing comfort and support whenever you need us and for however long. 

Accessing support 

The Sands National Helpline provides a safe and confidential place for anyone who has been affected by the death of a baby. Whether your baby died long ago or recently, we are here for you. The team are available to speak to on the telephone from 10am to 3pm Monday to Friday and 6pm to 9pm Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday evenings. Please note we are not open during bank holidays unless stated on the website. 

The telephone helpline is free to call from landlines and mobiles on 0808 164 3332.

You can also email the team at helpline@sands.org.uk and see the many other ways that we provide support on our website. 

Our Bereavement Support flyer for South Asian families and communities is also available to download. 

If you want to know more about our work and how to get involved, please get in touch with Madhuri Bedi, who is our dedicated Bereavement Support and Outreach Coordinator for South Asian Communities at madhuri.bedi@sands.org.uk.