Daniel is a father of Black Caribbean ethnicity, whose first baby was stillborn at 41 weeks and 4 days. His story shows the importance of healthcare staff providing clear and personalised information when supporting Black and Asian parents to make decisions about their care.
Daniel shared his story with Sands as part of the Listening Project. Some of the details in his story may be upsetting to read or hear, please remember that we are here for you.
Daniel’s first baby was stillborn during the Covid-19 pandemic after what seemed to be an uncomplicated pregnancy.
As a result, Daniel felt that, as first-time parents, they were left ‘second-guessing’ when it came to making decisions about their care.
They chose not to have gestational diabetes screening because the midwives and doctors didn’t explain why it was important for them personally, and they had heard within the Black community that it was just something that was offered ‘generally’ to all Black mothers. This was in the context of the Covid-19 pandemic and wide-spread misinformation about ethnicity and health risks.
Reflecting on their experience and his work supporting other bereaved parents, Daniel feels it is so important that healthcare professionals provide a rationale when making recommendations to parents from minoritised ethnic groups, particularly when discussing ethnicity as a risk factor.
Even after their baby died, during a review of their care, Daniel and his partner struggled to be a part of the conversation.
When Daniel’s partner became pregnant again, they chose to receive their care at a specialist Rainbow clinic 44 miles outside of their locality and had a much more positive experience of care. They staff were empathetic and explained things well.
Then, 16 weeks into their second pregnancy, they learnt that Daniel’s partner had had gestational diabetes in her first pregnancy, and that this might have been a factor in their baby’s death. This information had been written in a report of their care at the time of their loss, but no-one had told them about it or explained why it was important.
Daniel believes that when parents are given more detailed information, they can play a much more active role in keeping themselves and their baby safe.
At different points in their experience, Daniel felt that their ethnicity or beliefs might have affected how they were treated and spoken to.
Daniel described experiencing ‘a block’ to building relationships with some of the people involved in their care, including their bereavement midwife, linked to a lack of understanding about what was important to him and his partner.
You can read the findings of the Listening Project and how we're using this to tackle inequalities in baby deaths and get involved in our campaigning on this issue.
Sands supports anyone who has been affected by the death of a baby before, during or shortly after birth. We also offer tailored support for Black and South Asian parents, family members and others following pregnancy loss or the death of a baby.