Friday evening going into labour at 11:00pm on the way to the hospital with contractions every couple of minutes...so excited..

Get to the nearest hospital. The pain is unbearable. I'm transferred to the next hospital by ambulance.

Three quarters of the way there the midwife performs a heartbeat check, and from that moment on by the look on her face I knew that there was something wrong with him.

When we arrived at the hospital there was so many consultants and midwives waiting for me.

Big scanning machines all around the bed waiting for me. After the 3rd scan on the 3rd different piece of equipment the doctor had confirmed that our baby boy had no heartbeat and had sadly passed.

At that time I had no emotion whatsoever as over the last 11 months I had lost my dad to sepsis and found my nan dead in her home which was across the road from my house - which absolutely broke me. To then be told this news was devastating.

A very long 20 hours of labour which was the worst nightmare anyone could ever imagine going through.

Like you want to wake up and live like it had never happened. Our beautiful baby boy was born and he was absolutely perfect in every single way. The next 48 hours were precious with him. It’s something that I wake up and relive in my mind every single day without fail and will do for the rest of my life. If it wasn’t for our daughter who is nearly 5 now I would never have been as strong as I was and am to this day.

RIP our beautiful baby boy 💙