As a child I thought that I would grow up, become a police officer, get married, have 2 children, and live happily ever after.

Well that is what the fairy tales make us believe right?!?

Instead I got married, had 4 miscarriages, became a Trainee Clinical Psychologist, had a beautiful daughter, had another miscarriage, then had another beautiful daughter who died.

Edith had the same due date as her big sister. A sign/miracle we thought. Instead she died on New Year's day, and was born on 04.01.18. I get up in a morning for my two beautiful girls, and my family. My girls are my miracles.

Sadly, I was not supported in my return to work and have had to give up on my clinical psychology doctorate. My mental health and family come first. A supervisor at work even called Edith a miscarriage. This is not a blanket statement though. Some colleagues and fellow trainees were beyond supportive, and made a real effort to sit with me and talk about Edith. I will be forever grateful for every conversation, big or small, about Edith.

I have had miscarriages and they broke me. However, Edith was not a miscarriage. She is my daughter. I carried her, and I gave birth to her, I washed her, I dressed her, I read to her, I sang to her, I held her, and then I planned her funeral.

Every day I miss you, daddy misses you, your big sister misses you, your whole family misses you. However, every day you make me a better person and a better mummy. I will hold you in my heart until we meet again. We all love you so much.

Edith you were stillborn, but you were STILL BORN.

Every life, however short, matters.

Love from my family to all those who have loved and lost a piece of their family puzzle.

I have chosen to do a skydive to raise money for SANDS. More about how SANDS have helped our family can be found here: https://www.justgiving.com/Edithsmummy

#BLAW2018 #BREAKTHESILENCE