She was our rainbow baby but sadly turned into our special angel baby.



Kacie-Mae Collins-Baldwin was born on the 28.7.2016 at 2.36am. She weighed 6lb11-1/2oz.

She was so perfect, she was double the size of her sister Lilly-May and brother Alfie-Lee.



When we went for our 12 week scan, everything was prefect apart from one thing - we couldn't seem to find her kidneys. We were surprised and shocked as she had fluid around her, which without kidneys you wouldn't have. We all thought they could be hidden, so we went back at 16 weeks for another scan. There were still no signs of kidneys but everything else was prefect.

They was still fluid. We were still very confused after going on my left side then to my right trying to get the baby to move in all the different positions. Yet still we couldn't find the kidneys. We did however find out we were having a little girl. 

So we came back at 20 weeks. Everything was still the same as it was at the previous scans. She was getting bigger and her lungs seemed fine - which was also confusing. As if there were  no kidneys, the lungs wouldn't be in prefect form as they were showing. So I had to go back to hospital every 2 weeks for scans hoping and praying they would appear. 

By this point I was 32 weeks pregnant and the fluid started to disappear and so did all my hope. At this point I booked in for an MRI scan in Sheffield where they specialised in these sort of cases. I'd never heard of this before. I was the third case that month and the 1st in Hull it had appeared to have happened to.

They were surprised in terms of the results. They had shown us there were no kidneys - just a little bit of tissue that had kept her going for this long. I was 36 weeks by this point. My next trip was to Leeds to see the kidney doctor who told me they was no hope. She couldn't go on dialysis as she didn't have any kidneys.

At 38 weeks my baby was still kicking and moving around. She felt so strong. I was keeping her alive but how long was she going to last inside me was all I was thinking about

I got offered to stop the pregnancy at this point. I refused. I couldn't do that knowing I'd seen her and could feel her moving. We knew the right thing to do was to let nature take its course. So here I was at 41 weeks and 2 days over my due date. She was still moving strongly but I was showing no signs of labour. I was just very sore from Kacie-Mae having no fluid.

I could feel every inch of her movement. So the day came and I went to have her. I was so strong up until this day. I knew what was going to happen once she was born. Everyone around me was breaking down, but for some reason I didn't. I had to have an emergency c section and she got stuck.

I laid on the table while the doctors did their bit. The next I hear a cry. I couldn't believe it. She cried, and then it went silent.

The team did their thing while I was getting stitched back up. They took Kacie-Mae away quickly to do her checks to see if there was any hope. But her lungs were damaged badly and with no kidneys there was no hope for her.

I still didn't show any signs of sadness or cry. I think I was just in shock. We had 7 long hours with her before I knew she was suffering. I looked at Lee her dad and said it's time. He broke down. I still didn't. I don't know why. I still question as to why I didn't. By 9.30 she was swept away from us. Our beautiful little girl had gone.